someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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