woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
