speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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