she looked like the before picture.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Randomize