he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
