dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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