have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
