1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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