For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
