shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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