I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
