New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
