if i died would you start the facebook group?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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