They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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