so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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