So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
