I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
