This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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