finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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