I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
