I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Randomize