Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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