I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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