I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
