i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize