i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
