I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
