I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
