so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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