I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
