oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
