she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
