I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
bring money and cleavage
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize