dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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