I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Randomize
