At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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