how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I love having hate sex.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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