He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
