I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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