the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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