Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
