is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
