Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
