so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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