I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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