The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize