I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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