I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
