Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
