I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
