i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
We need to rekindle our bromance
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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