Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
