Pappa wants mamma naked
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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