She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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