R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
