It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
