you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
