i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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