I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
