You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
