i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
