i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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