dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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