I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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